Elementary, Neville
by kolchaksghost
Summary: Being the reminiscences of Lord Neville Longbottom as originally published in The Quibbler about his dearest friend, that Most Extraordinary Wizard in whom we are all indebted.   An AU story with a Sherlock Holmes flare  HP/NL friendship, HP/? romance.
1. Chapter 1

**Elementary, Neville**

Prologue: A Brief Introduction

(Being the reminiscences of Lord Neville Longbottom as originally published in The Quibbler about his dearest friend, that Most Extraordinary Wizard in whom we are all indebted)

_In the years since the end of the Second War against Voldemort, the magical world has undergone many changes for the better. Those of us that fought his evil and lived achieved no small measure of notoriety; some fell into obscurity, some merely faded into the background while others achieved great things. I feel flattered that many count me among the latter for my contributions to the fields of Herbology and Healing. The truth of the matter is that neither I or my former classmates and comrades-in-arms would be where we are today if not for the influence of a truly remarkable man. If it had not been for eleven year-old Harry Potter, my life would have been filled with insecurity and loneliness._

_Throughout his life, there have been numerous books and articles written about Lord Harry; from books about the adventures of a young Boy-Who-Lived by authors like that miserable fraud, Gilderoy Lockhart, or the venomous words of the vile Rita Skeeter but none by anyone that knew him. My lovely wife, Luna, thought it was time to change that and who better to correct such a blatant oversight than one of those that knew him best and was there from the beginning. She then henpecked me… I mean persuaded me most gently and lovingly to take up the task of shedding light on the world's enigmatic Consulting Wizard._

_Not surprisingly, my wife was correct. The Longbottom and Potter families have allied for generations. My late grandmother spent her remaining years regaling the two us with tales of how the heirs of those Most Ancient and Noble Houses worked together in the past. She often reminded me how our parents had been great friends and that the future Great Gentleman and I often played together from infancy. Gran's favorite story was how, at just a year old, the two of us managed to escape from the playroom at Longbottom Manor when the adults and house-elves were not looking. Apparently, we made it all the way into my father's study and had gotten into his secret cache of Honeyduke's chocolate before we were caught._

_Both of our families had gone into hiding from the Dark Lord after that and that would be the last time I was to see dear friend for ten years. It was on the Express that I met Lord Harry again that fateful September 1__st__. We were on our way to start our first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry not to mention our first Great Adventure; the Curious Case of the Stammering Professor._

Ch. 1: Foreshadowing Things to Come

_September 1, 1991_

As I stood on Platform 9 ¾ and waited to board the Hogwarts Express for the first time, I had no illusions that I was going to be anything but an utter disappointment to my family name. That point had been driven home by my grandmother, Lady Augusta Longbottom nee Croaker, practically every day for the past ten years by always comparing me with my father. Not that she was being deliberately malicious; it was her continuing grief at the loss of my parents (who had been tortured into insanity by the Lestrange's) that made the old witch hypercritical of everything that I did. My lack of any outward signs of accidental magic and her recently developed overprotective nature hadn't helped either.

Only my granduncle, Algernon, believed that I wasn't a squib. It seemed at times that he was a little too eager to torture… um… coax the magic out of me but if it wasn't for Gran's brother then I wouldn't be there on the platform at all. He even bought me my familiar, a toad that I named Trevor. I guess it was his way of saying sorry for dropping me out of that second story window at the manor.

Red-faced, I endured my grandmother's fussing as well as the not so subtle reminders to eat my vegetables and that using my father's wand was an honor so I shouldn't do anything to disgrace his memory. When I was finally able to get onto the train, I let out a sigh of relief to be away from the woman for the next ten months. My tension tripled when I realized that I now needed to find a place to sit among a bunch of strangers. In addition to my self-esteem issues, growing up isolated from others my own age left me incredibly shy. The train was already underway and I still hadn't found a place to sit. One of the Prefects helped me a bit by finding a place for my trunk but that was about it.

I was halfway down the length of the train when I realized that Trevor was missing. A frantic search began and I asked everyone that I met if they'd seen the toad. During the course of my quest, I happened upon a compartment with only two other boys in it. From their ages, I guessed that they were firsties like me. Both turned to me after I slid open the door.

One was a gangly redhead with pasty skin, freckles, blue eyes and carefully mended clothing. He reminded me of the Prefect that helped me and a couple of third years I'd seen further back. The other boy was shorter that other; he had an unruly mop of raven black hair, deep emerald green eyes and a slight tint to his skin that said that he at least spent some time outside. His clothing was entirely muggle; jeans, a t-shirt that had a picture of a funny looking man in scarlet robes and the words "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition," an olive toned multi-pocketed jacket and sneakers.

"H-h-have either of you seen a toad," I asked hesitantly. The ginger boy rudely answered in the negative while the other just shook his head no. I was about to leave when he spoke.

"Is the toad your familiar," he inquired then and my nod continued, "Well then, there you have it." I stood there confused as he went back to gazing at the ginger suspiciously.

Still somewhat dazed from the odd encounter, I continued on and eventually ran into a fist year witch that was willing to help. Her name was Hermione Granger, a muggleborn with bushy brown hair, brown eyes and what some would harshly claim were buck-teeth. She was an energetic girl that had the uncontrollable need to impress everyone with her knowledge. The excitable witch was already dressed in her new school robes. After a futile hunt for my missing pet, we found ourselves back at the compartment with the two boys. Ginger looked like he was about to cast a spell on his mangy looking rat. My newfound friend opened the door so we could get a better look at what was about to happen. The spell was obviously someone's idea of a joke but Hermione just had to comment on it.

"Are you sure that was even a real spell? I've already read all of our books for the year and practiced a few of the spells and they seemed to work for me. I'm Hermione Granger, by the way, and this is Neville Longbottom. I can't wait to get school; which House do you think you'll be sorted into. I'm hoping for Gryffindor – like Dumbledore – but Ravenclaw would be just as good. I didn't even know I was a witch until my letter arrived. Who were you again," she asked. The words tumbled out of her mouth in a single breath.

"Harry Potter and Ron Weasley," the dark haired boy replied as he pointed between himself and the ginger. He then turned away from Hermione as she started to go on about how many books he was in and looked at Ron.

"May I see your rat," he asked with a thoughtful expression.

He held the rat for a second then we were stunned as he grabbed it by the tail and slammed its head into the window stunning it. Next, Harry stood and placed the unconscious animal into his owl's cage next to him.

"Watch that for me, Hedwig, and attack anyone stupid enough to try to take him," he told the bird before he looked at the three of us.

"I know your game, Ron, and you're lucky I don't throw you out the window. If you're still here when I get back then you _**will**_ find new definitions for the word pain," Harry told the ginger in an icy voice before he turned to us and continued in a friendly tone, "Neville, Hermione, you two are welcome to have a seat, I just need to go speak to the conductor for a moment."

The three of us stared at him in shock as he headed out of the compartment and towards the front of the train. A red faced Ron launched himself at the owl cage only to have his hand bitten by the snowy bird when he was stupid enough to try to grab the rat. He rushed out holding a bleeding hand. I glanced at the dazed witch next to me, shrugged, and then sat down on the bench that the gangly ginger had vacated. My new friend joined me but soon leapt to her feet.

"I can't believe I forgot to ask them if they'd seen your toad," she gasped incredulously.

"You didn't need to; I asked them before I found you. Harry just asked if Trevor was my familiar then dismissed me," I explained and watched as the bushy haired girl palmed her forehead.

"Of course! Why didn't I think of that? If Trevor is your familiar then you should be able to find out where he is through the Familiar Bond; at least as long as he's within about a kilometer," Hermione explained, thankfully, before she noticed my puzzled expression.

I was secretly glad nobody else was around to hear our exchange because, while I'm not a Pureblood bigot, it was just too embarrassing to be told about something magical by a muggleborn that I should've already known. Of course, as soon as I concentrated on the bond, Trevor chose that moment to hop into the open compartment and land on my lap. To this day, I still say he gave me a rather toadish smirk than screamed _It's about time you figured it out_ before he climbed into the pocket of my robe.

Harry came back ten minutes later with a look of deep concentration. Without a word, he plopped down onto the empty bench across from Hermione and me. He then put his hands into two of the pockets of his jacked and pulled out a strange cap that had a bill on both the front and back along with a rather large curved yellow meerschaum pipe that had some runes carved around the rim of the bowl. The cap (a deerstalker, Hermione told me) went on his head and the pipe into his mouth after he touched one of the runes. Multi-colored bubbles that smelled like pipe smoke when the burst drifted up from the bowl as its strange owner stared at nothing in particular.

Being the shy, non-confrontational, lad that I was, I just sat back without a word and waited for the train ride to end. The witch next to me seemed to find the silence offensive.

"Why did you take that rat and why were you so mean to Ron," Hermione demanded hotly at the same time the compartment door opened up to reveal the aforementioned boy and three other gingers that could only be his brothers.

"That's something I would like to know as well, Mister Potter," the oldest Weasley boy said from his place beside Ron. He was already in his school robes and a well polished Prefect's badge was pinned to the left breast.

With a look of annoyance, Harry removed the pipe from his mouth replied off-handedly, "The rat is more than it seems and will be staying with me until we reach school then I'll hand it over to the proper authorities. As for your brother, he's a spy… a turncoat… a filthy traitor sent to befriend me and report my every move back to his Master. As the heir of a Most Ancient and Noble House, two Founders and the scion of another Most Ancient and Noble House, I was within my rights to kill the fool or declare a blood feud against your family. He lives as long as he never bothers me again."

My bench mate and I stared in shock at the casual accusation while the Prefect and the ginger twins behind him paled. Ron, however, had the panicked look of a rabbit caught in a snare; something that didn't go unnoticed by me, Harry or Hermione.

"You'd better have evidence to support such lies," the oldest ginger, Percy – we later found out – spat back. The future Lord Harry sighed then gave a curt nod.

"Very well, as you appear to be ignorant of things I'll explain the relevant facts," he began indifferently then continued, "First, after the twins back there helped me with my trunk then told your mother who I was, she told them and Ron not to bother me or ask any impertinent questions. As soon as he was on the train, ickle Ronniekins, came straight to my compartment and asked to sit with me. He lied by saying that everywhere else was full. He then ignored your mother's warning and asked about my scar."

"Second, and by far the most incriminating, he mentioned hearing that I lived with my muggle relatives and asked what it was like. Now since I've got a vested interest in the subject matter, I'm well aware of the tripe printed in those adventure stories about me as well as what is in my official Ministry file. Those stories offer up all sorts of crazy theories about where I was raised but the Ministry file only mentions that I was placed in a secure location by the Chief Warlock. So how would Ron know unless he was told by the very person that tried to abandon me there?

"Third, after he explained about your family, he went on to complain about never getting anything new only hand-me-downs; rat, wand, clothes, etc; and trapped himself in yet another lie. While Percy's robes may be new, they are what the muggle fashion industry refers to as a knock-off. A cheap but quality reproduction of a Madam Malkin design I believe. Now Ron, despite the lovingly handmade jumper, is wearing a new, high-end, dress shirt. His acromantula silk tie and his trousers are also high-end and deliberately designed to look distressed. The shoes are the only part of his kit that looks second hand. Then there is his wand; the chips in it are too symmetrical while the wood looks brand new. The unicorn hairs that poke out from the tip prove that it never belonged to your brother, Charlie, because anyone that works on a Dragon Reserve would have dragon heartstring for a core, even in their first wand.

"And finally, there's the fact that he's standing there looking guilty. I have no problem with you or the twins because from your expressions you didn't know. Keep Ron away from me and everything will be fine. You might want to keep an eye on him as well."

"I see, thank you for bringing this to my attention. I'll be sure to inform our father, you won't be troubled by Ronald any further," Percy commented thoughtfully after he processed all the information that had been thrust upon all of us. He pulled his youngest brother out of the compartment by his ear while scolding the boy in a low hiss. The twins shot Harry mischievous smirks before they nodded then followed in their brothers' wake.

"How very Sherlock Holmes of you, Harry," Hermione stated dryly after the Weasley's had gone but her eyes held a look of awed bewilderment that was mirrored in my own.

I had the sneaking suspicion that it was going to be an interesting year, and school hadn't even started yet.

The compartment settled back into a much more comfortable silence. I stared out the window while Hermione pulled a book from the inner pocket of her robe to read and Harry continued his contemplations. Our witch friend wasn't fooling anyone because she hadn't turned the page for an hour and her body twitched from the exertion of holding in all the questions that she wanted to ask. While I was just as curious, something told me that Harry Potter was not one to rush or demand explanations from.

The rest of the train ride was uneventful except for when the door to out compartment slid open one more time. A pointy faced boy with slicked back pale blonde hair stood just outside. Two other boys stood behind him glaring and looked like midget trolls. Before the blonde had a chance to speak, Harry kicked the door shut then kept is foot on it to prevent it from being opened again.

"I take it that you knew him," I asked curiously.

"His name is Draco Malfoy, a cousin that until now I've had the good fortune never to meet. My family made sure that I had a dossier on him and his parents," he explained and Hermione looked like she was about to yelling questions at any minute.

Harry was saved from her interrogation when the speakers announced that the train would be arriving at Hogsmead Station in ten minutes. I left to go find my trunk so I could change and Harry grabbed a robe from his trunk and bolted for the loo. The young witch had a calculating look about her and I knew that she wouldn't be denied her answers much longer. The raven haired wizard must have sensed that because he never returned to the compartment.

A giant of a man called out for all the first years to follow him after we stepped onto the platform. He lead us down to the lakeshore and directed us to get into the amassed boats after a warning of no more than four per craft. Hermione climbed in first followed by me, a snotty pug-faced blonde girl, and then Harry. There was a moment of silence when the boats rounded a bend and we all saw Hogwarts for the first time. We got out on a dock not far from the school then Hagrid, the huge man, marched us up to the castle where we were met by a stern looking witch that introduced herself as Professor McGonagall.

**AN: So, this was the first chapter of my first HP fic. Next up, the Sorting and more excitement. As far Houses go, I'm thinking about making Hermione a Puff and Lavender Brown a Slytherin. So, what any thoughts on the Neville being Watson thing? I haven't decided who Harry's love interest will be yet but the front runners are Daphne Greengrass, Tracy Davis, Susan Bones but I'm open to suggestions. I don't want to do a Harry/Hermione pairing unless there's a major outcry for it. I'll try to have the next chapter up by the end of the weekend but work is kicking my ass at the moment. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Elementary, Neville**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I'm just borrowing him for a while._

Ch. 2: Startling Revelations

_Before continuing with the narrative, I felt that a few words of explanation were in order. As those of you that spent seven years at Hogwarts with myself and Lord Harry James Potter-Black or became embroiled in our many subsequent adventures after graduation know, nothing is ever what it appears to be. To paraphrase a saying from the muggle study of Psychology – a cigar is __**never**__ just a cigar. The truth of those words that would come to hold such sway over my life was driven home for the first, but sadly not the last, time during the Sorting Ceremony. ~ NL._

_Outside of the Hogwarts Castle; September 1__st__, 1991._

I freely admit that I wasn't the most observant of people from the time we'd gotten off the train. A small fraction of the reason had been the fact that I was nervous about being away from the only home that I'd ever known. The largest factor had been the awe inspiring sight of magnificent castle that we'd all be living in for the next ten months but that was quickly transfigured into fear of the harsh matronly figure that was Professor McGonagall. Had I paid attention to my surroundings then I would've noticed what happened to Hermione or Harry's kit.

"Good evening, children, I am Professor McGonagall. Among my many duties, I shall be your Transfiguration teacher. Normally, I would be taking you to a waiting area while the Great Hall is arranged for the Sorting but due to some unexpected guests we must not dawdle. You will follow me in a single file line then after certain inquiries are made the ceremony will continue as planned.

"Once I call each of your names, you will come forward to be placed into your Houses. The four Houses are Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor and Slytherin. Each extols a different set of virtues and has their own unique histories. While you are here, your House is your family; all of your successes will earn your family points, just as any disciplinary measures shall cost your family points. At the end of the year, the House with the most points will win the House Cup," the rather stern looking witch explained to us curtly.

"I take it that the Aurors are here then," Harry asked as he stepped to the head of our group. I was startled to notice that he wasn't dressed in the standard school robes like the rest of us.

"They have indeed, Mr. Potter, and they are in a fowl mood so I suggest we all get a move on. But first, I would like to know why you are not uniform," Prof. McGonagall retorted while one manicured eyebrow arched significantly.

"Excellent, if an eleven-year-old boy had to do my job for me on a semi-regular basis then I'd be in a foul mood as well. Hopefully, this will be a good object lesson for them. As to my uniform, I believe that you'll find that the Inverness Cloak is on the list of acceptable alternatives to the standard school robes. Some of us don't like looking like rejects from a bad fantasy novel. You might be able to pull of that whole Mary Poppins/Wicked Witch of the West lovechild look but not many can. Hurry up, Neville and Hermione, the game is still afoot," he commented cheekily as he strode past the gaping teacher and headed in the directly toward the sounds of voices just ahead in the distance.

Hermione shot me a quick nervous glance before she followed after our friend and I saw for the first time her new appearance. Her heart-shaped face had thinned, losing some of its baby fat, and her features became more refined and delicate. The once bushy brown mane of hair that crowned her head was now a dark brown that was only a couple of shades lighter than black that cascaded down in very loose curls; while eyes that had been a warm brown were now a dark storm cloud grey. I rushed after the pair a few heart beats later and I heard the rest of our group. We all entered the Great Hall within about a minute of each other.

Hogwarts Great Hall was a magnificent sight that paled only to seeing the castle itself. Four long tables that represented each of the school houses were packed with the returning students. On a dais along the far wall was another table where the faculty and staff were seated and above us, the roof had been enchanted to resemble the sky. In front of the dais was a tall man dressed in the blue robes trimmed in silver of an Auror. The silver lion rampant with a gold collar indicated that he was a Senior Auror Captain.

In spite of the impressive robes, the tall Auror's gaunt features made him look like a sickly lion as he paced in front of the head table with a pronounced limp. His stringy hair had once been blonde but turned ashen with premature age hung to his shoulders and only intensified the image. Pale blue eyes snapped in our direction and his face became a mask of annoyance after they locked onto Harry.

"Potter, why am I not surprised to find you at the center of this mess; I've always said that you were a menace," the Auror spat with a deep Scottish burr.

"Yes, Mr. Potter, it seems that you have questions to answer in regards to the misunderstanding with Mr. Weasley, as well," the Headmaster piped up from his place at the head table.

"Scrimgeour, it's been what – two weeks since our last meeting, what a pleasure to see you again. I see they promoted you to Senior Auror Captain; that must've happened after you took credit for foiling the Susan Bones kidnapping. If only you'd listened to me a few minutes sooner then you might've caught the third man and discover who the true Mastermind was. Who knows, if you spin this correctly you just may be elevated to Chief Auror," Harry quipped in a false cheerful tone like the two were old friends.

Next he turned to the Dumbledore and sneered, "Headmaster Dumbledore, are you really that stupid to bring up what happened between me and your little minion? I suppose that your attempted line theft and other crimes against my family are misunderstanding as well?"

Whispers had broken out through the Great Hall after the exchange and the ancient wizard tried to back peddle. The doors behind us opened once more looked back.

"Really, Albus, everything is just misunderstanding," a woman's voice drifted through the room. Her tone was aristocratic laced with incredulity.

The group of new arrivals was made up of three women; two at the front side by side and one trailing; and five more Aurors. The witch on the left was in her mid-forties with strawberry blonde hair pulled back into a tight bun and dressed in deep sapphire robes trimmed in gold with two gold lions rampant- one on each shoulder. A monocle was screwed into one eye. The witch on the right (the one that spoke) looked about Professor McGonagall's age dressed in a dark regal gown. Her raven hair was styled elegantly around her face. Her intense gaze lingered for a brief instant on Hermione but quickly returned to the Headmaster. The witch behind them was in her early thirties and dressed similarly the older woman on the right. She had long raven hair and blue-grey eyes. As for the Aurors, well they looked intimidating to honest.

"Cassiopeia, a pleasure as always, but I am not aware of any reason for your presence in my school and with Madam Bones no less," Dumbledore replied with forced civility.

"As Steward of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black anything that concerns my flock is my business. Imagine my surprise when dear Amelia here notified me that my thrice Great-Grandnephew invoked his right as Heir and requested Auror assistance in a matter of life or death. Naturally, I wanted to see firsthand what the situation was," Cassiopeia Black chirped sweetly then looked at Harry expectantly.

"Yes, I too am interested in why my godson officially requested aid from my department," Madam Amelia Bones, head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement added from beside the older witch. With a shrug, Harry pulled the still stunned rat from a cloak pocket then tossed it to Scrimgeour as though that was explanation enough.

"A rat… you caused all this trouble because of some damnable rodent," the Senior Captain demanded hotly.

"That _rat_ is not a familiar yet has lived with the Weasley family for a decade as a pet. The average life expectancy for a common rat is no more than four years. This particular _rat_ happens to have a bald spot on its head, a small hole in its right ear and is missing a toe. And before you make yourself look like a fool, the hole is perfectly circular and the area where the toe was is too perfect; kind of like it was cut off rather than removed by natural means. Of course, because of the nature of the wards around the school, the Headmaster could always end the charade and admit that the rat is an animagus," Harry answered non-plussed by the other man's ire.

Cassiopeia stiffened throughout the younger boy's clarification. When he finished, the witch's wand was out and she shot off two spells in rapid succession at the rodent. The first confirmed that it was an animagus, while the second forced it back into human form.

"PETER PETTIGREW," Scrimgeour, Madam Bones and several professors shouted as the body hit the floor. The Aurors surrounded the unconscious wizard that the entire wizarding world believed to be both a hero and dead.

Scrimgeour revived the wretch then two of the others held him while Madam Bones pulled a vial from her robe and poured three drops into his mouth. Shock and anger were the dominate emotions of all of us present as the witch interrogated the traitor with Veritaserum. Under the influence of the powerful truth potion, Pettigrew admitted to being a Death Eater, the Potter's Secret Keeper and how he betrayed them to Voldemort then set up Sirius Black. He also told how his entire family had joined the Dark Lord when he first started to consolidate his power. Peter, who lacked the cunning to be a Slytherin, was told to spy on whatever house he ended up in. He revealed more but I wasn't able to hear because the hall had erupted in rather loud conversations.

"SILENCE," the Headmaster bellowed to restore order then nodded when the room became quiet.

The calm that descended barely lasted a minute before the doors to the Great Hall opened again. An irate couple, each with flaming red hair, stormed in demanding to speak with Dumbledore. With a frustrated sigh, the Headmaster pointed to a door just to the right of the dais.

"Perhaps it would be best to continue these proceedings in private. If the Heads of House and all other relevant parties would follow me, please," he commented coolly while Madam Bones directed Scrimgeour and the Aurors to take Pettigrew to the Ministry then arrange for Sirius Black's release from Azkaban. Harry made a motion with his hand for Hermione and I to follow. A brief look over my shoulder showed that Ron Weasley was being dragged along by his ear by female half of the red headed couple.

On the other side of the door was a small ante chamber that looked like it was used as a staff room. It was dominated by a long table that still had a scattering of blank parchment, quills and bottles of ink on it. The Headmaster attempted to regain some control of the situation that had already gotten out of hand by demanding that everyone take a seat at the table. His eyes swept over the gathering then came to rest upon the youngest witch and myself.

"Mr. Longbottom, Miss Granger, you have no reason to be here and should return back to the Great with your fellow first years," Dumbledore commented softly but Harry overruled him.

"They were witnesses to what happened on the train," the future Lord Potter interjected rationally.

"This is Black family business, if my suspicions are correct then Hermione has every right to be here," Cassiopeia Black added matter-of-factly and drew everybody's attention back to her as she pulled a blank piece of parchment towards her then removed a small silver dagger from the bodice of her gown.

"Hermione, Child, you have some features that are predominate in my family. With your permission, I would like to enchant this parchment then add three drops of your blood to it. That way we can learn your heritage," the elderly witch told my companion with an encouraging expression. After a brief pause the younger girl nodded her agreement.

"**Familia Sanguinus**," Cassiopeia intoned as she pointed her wand at the parchment. Next, she made a cut on Hermione's palm then after the blood started to pool motioned for her to add the requisite drops to the paper. Once that was done, the older woman healed the cut and we all waited. The blood was absorbed then a few seconds later writing started to appear:

Name – Hermione Pleiades Black; Heir Apparent: Most Ancient and Noble House of Black; Scion: Noble House of Delacour

Father – Regulus Black; Heir Apparent: Most Ancient and Noble House of Black (Deceased)

Mother – Jean-Marie Isobel Delacour; Scion: Noble House of Delacour (Deceased)

Blood Status – Pureblood

"H-h-how is that even possible," Hermione stammered while several of the adults gasped at the results.

"Starting in the late 1960's, the dark wizard – Lord Voldemort – stopped moving in the shadows and began to consolidate his power. By mid 1970's, his followers or Death Eaters were well into their campaign of terror. At that time, nearly 95% of Slytherin House here at Hogwarts was either Death Eaters or supporters of the Dark Lord. Five scions of our family attended school then; Narcissa and Bellatrix Black, James Potter – their half-brother and their cousins – Sirius and Regulus Black. Sirius and James were Gryffindors while the rest were in Slytherin.

"Contrary to whatever slurs you might hear, the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black _**never**_ supported Voldemort only a handful of individuals within the family. Some will tell you that your father was one of them and from the limited information they have they are right. The truth is that Regulus was recruited by the Unspeakables the summer before the start of his third year to infiltrate the Death Eater ranks that his cousins Narcissa and Bellatrix had willingly joined. He quickly rose through the ranks to become a part of the Dark Lord's Inner Circle.

"Regulus was able to provide the Unspeakables with critical information to stop several key raids but at the cost of sacrificing other people's lives. He always felt guilty because of that but knew that if he interfered more than his cover would be blown. Putting together subtle hints that Voldemort dropped, your father started to believe the Dark Lord used some kind of vile ritual to cheat death. He must have found out what the evil snake had done because he sent word to his handler at the Department of Mysteries requesting an immediate extraction.

"Unfortunately, another Unspeakable – Augustus Rookwood – was a Death Eater that eventually learned the truth about Regulus. The traitor informed his master which forced your father to go to ground. He knew the magical world was not safe so he hid among the muggles. Nobody heard from him after until about nine years ago when Gringott's informed his father, Orion that he and his wife had been killed plane crash but their toddler daughter survived. Somehow, Regulus had found a way to keep the family tapestry from recording either his marriage or your birth.

"My nephew searched for you for two years using every resource our family had but never found you. I believe the reason that he was unsuccessful was because your father had help from both the Head Unspeakable – Algernon Croaker – and a member of our family, most like Andromeda Tonks or even his brother," Cassiopeia explained to Hermione but we all knew it was the abridged version because family business stayed within the family; especially with the Black's. 

"While I'm sure that the family history lesson is appreciated can we get this over with already," sneered a pale skinned professor with long greasy black hair, black eyes and a severely hooked nose dressed in a black robe.

"I would watch yourself, Professor Snape, because Albus will not always be able to protect you; even behind these walls," the de facto head of House Black threatened sweetly while Hermione sat quietly as she processed what she'd just been told.

"Severus, Cassiopeia, enough there has already been too many misunderstandings today to risk any more," Dumbledore began but was interrupted by the irate red headed man.

"There are no misunderstandings, Albus. When you came to us at the beginning of the Summer Holidays, you told us that you needed my youngest son's help with a school project and that as payment for his assistance he and his sister were to receive full scholarships. Thanks to the owl that my son, Percy, sent I now find out that your so-called project was to use Ron to spy on a fellow student. Not just any student, mind you, but Harry Potter; the same Harry Potter that is Heir to a Most Ancient and Noble House as well as heir of two Hogwarts Founders. This is a school full of children not the floor of the Wizengamut, your political intrigues have no place here," the red headed man seethed then glanced apologetically at Harry and his relations.

"Madam Black, I'm Molly Weasley, my husband – Arthur – and I would like to formally apologize for what our youngest son's actions. Had we known what the Headmaster was up to then we never would have agreed to let Ronald help him. We raised him better than that," the woman, Molly, offered sincerely.

Cassiopeia glanced slyly at Dumbledore before turning her attention back to the Weasley matriarch. Even a naïve eleven-year-old like myself was able to see the wheels turning in the old witch's head. The radiant smile that broke out on her face left little doubt that she'd come up with some kind of scheme that worked to her advantage.

"Mrs. Weasley… Molly… think nothing more about it; I believe your husband has cut to the crux of the matter. The Chief Warlock, Supreme Mugwump of the ICW, Grand Sorcerer and Headmaster of Hogwarts are all full time positions that would require every ounce of ability of wizards or witches a quarter of Dumbledore's age. Perhaps dear Albus here has reached an age where the strain of those various positions has made him a tad confused. No matter, those are things that are quite easily remedied," the elder Black began then pulled out her wand. A mumbled incantation later and a silvery snake – a black mamba, I learned later – leapt from the tip. She whispered to it then it shot off.

"There, my patronus will alert Lady Longbottom that we need to convene an emergency session of the Wizengamut followed by a meeting of the Hogwarts Board of Governors for tomorrow morning. It shant take long for us to find a suitable replacement as Chief Warlock and I will send off a missive to the ICW about the need to fill the vacant Supreme Mugwump position within the next month. That way there will not be any further _misunderstandings_ of this kind in the future.

"Then all that will be left is for the Board to confirm my great-great-grandniece, Virgo's, appointment to officially audit classes and file a report so that necessary changes can be made to the curriculum for the next school year. As we seem to have come to an accord, I suggest we go into the Great Hall and see about sorting the children," she finished then rose and exited the staff room with a smirking Madam Bones. The younger Black witch, Virgo, firmly but gently ushered us children to follow and as a group we left behind a gobsmacked pack of professors and two parents.

Professor McGonagall was the first one to recover and called out the first inquiry that popped into her head. "Why, exactly, does Virgo Black need to audit our classes?"

"Because Sirius will soon be taking his rightful place as Head of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black, and I will be too busy acting as the Potter Proxy in both the Wizengamut and on the Board of Governors. This is the first time in two decades that not just Scions but Heirs of the five Most Ancient and Noble Houses have been at Hogwarts at the same time. By the school's charter, a chaperone must be provided to watch over them and instruct them in the various duties that they shall inherit. Since Virgo will be living here for the next seven years to fulfill that role, it makes sense that she should also audit the classes to spare the Board the added expense of hiring someone else for the job," Cassiopeia answered after a slight pause at the door.

Poor Hermione was still looked a bit piqued due to the recent overload of information that she'd just received. Ron Weasley looked little better; in fact, he wore an expression that might be seen on inmates of Azkaban that were given a reprieve just seconds before they were to receive the Dementor's Kiss. There are still some draconian laws on the books from the Dark Ages that deal with spying on the Most Ancient and Noble Houses and the analogy was appropriate. Harry kept casting speculative glances at his new found cousin while Virgo held herself in an aloof manner as she stood behind us.

A few minutes later, the rest of the adults exited the staff room. Professor McGonagall went to stand next to a three-legged stool with an ancient wizard's hat perched upon it, a scroll clutched in one of her hands. On the opposite side of the stool, Madam Bone and Cassiopeia Black stood. The remaining teachers resumed their places at the head table but Headmaster Dumbledore was too preoccupied to pay much attention to the Sorting. The Weasley's joined their older sons at the Gryffindor table and waited for everything to get started.

The Deputy Headmistress unrolled the scroll then intoned solemnly, "Abbott, Hannah."

The afore mentioned girl, a rather cute blonde witch whose with pig tails, was sorted into Hufflepuff. Susan Bones joined her in that house. Terry Boot was the first Ravenclaw while Lavender Brown became the first Gryffindor. The rather trollish Bullstrode, Crabbe and Goyle all were sent into Slytherin along with Tracy Davis and Daphne Greengrass. The first shocker of the ceremony came when Prof. McGonagall called out the name Granger-Black, Hermione. Whispers started around the various tables as she walked purposely toward the stool. The younger witch nodded politely when the professor commented that she could use the hyphenated name for as long as she wanted.

"GRYFFINDOR," the hat shouted after nearly five minutes of sitting on her head.

The ceremony continued and I eventually found myself joining my new friend in Gryffindor; much to my eternal surprise. The next big shock came when the hat was placed on the head of Harry Potter. For fifteen minutes the Sorting Hat looked like it was having a problem with the young wizard.

"GRYF… no, SLYTH… HUFF… fine, RAVENCLAW," the hat finally decreed but muttered something about stupid wizard being too smart for his own good.

Eventually, the Sorting was over but Dumbledore still wasn't paying attention. After shooting the ancient mage a reproachful look, McGonagall cleared her throat then made a short speech.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. For you returning students, it is good to see you again and for you first years, we are happy that you could join us. This year is the first year in a long time that children from all five of the Most Ancient and Noble Houses have started school at the same time. Because of their status as future leaders of our world, Miss Virgo Black shall be acting as both their chaperone as well as their instructor in some additional classes to help fulfill their rolls. As she is going to be a representative of both the Families and the Board of Governors, she will be given the same respect as any of your professors. She will also have the authority to give or take House Points for those instances that occur within her presence. Now, let the Feast commence," Prof. McGonagall commented then sat down at her appointed place at the head table.

Platters of food materialized down the center of the tables and my fellow students and I eagerly tucked in. The meal was excellent; the Hogwarts house-elves really knew how to cook. As we ate, Hermione started to ask questions of Virgo, whom had taken a seat next to her.

"Virgo, how can Harry be a Black when his last name is Potter," the younger girl wondered to her elder cousin.

"Lord Charlus Potter and his wife Dorea Potter nee Black had only one child; a daughter named Charlene. To keep the vultures at bay, so to speak, he arranged for her to become the second wife of his good friend (and Dorea's cousin) Cygnus Black," Virgo began but was quickly interrupted by her kinswoman.

"That's barbaric, polygamy is illegal – not to mention morally reprehensible," Hermione interjected with a hiss.

"Among muggles, you are correct in your assessment but you are not a muggle nor are you in the muggle world. Having multiple wives is not a sign of moral bankruptcy but a matter of biological imperative. Before the last war, witches outnumbered wizards 2:1; since the Dark Lord's downfall that ratio has increased to 4:1. If we are to survive as a race then every witch must give birth to at least one magical child. You might find yourself having to share a husband with other wives but you will at least have to option to marry for love because Sirius refuses to treat the daughters of our House like commodities to be traded. Poor Harry may not have that option; he will no doubt be forced to wed at least three witches as well as a contracted consort to the various family lines he will be responsible for separate," the older woman chided and my friend had the good grace to look ashamed for her outburst. Seeing that her younger cousin was properly abashed at her faux pas, Ms. Black continued.

"Now, as I was saying, Charlene became Cygnus' second wife under the provision that the first male child born from their union would carry the Potter name. His first wife was outraged because she felt that she might be forced to take up the secondary role. Gertrude Black had already given her husband two daughters; Andromeda and Narcissa; but no sons. Ten months after the marriage was consummated, Charlene gave birth to twins, a son and a daughter. The boy was named James Potter and became the Heir of that Most Ancient and Noble House. The girl was named in accordance to Black family tradition, Virgo Dorea Black. A year later, Gertrude gave birth to yet another daughter, Bellatrix and was told that she could have no more children.

"For reasons not meant for public consumption, Mother eventually moved James and I back into Potter Manor to live with my grandparents. When we were eleven, I was sent to live with Aunt Cassie in France to learn more about being a Black and to attend Beauxbatons while James and Sirius went to Hogwarts. Does that satisfy your curiosity for the moment?"

The newly minted Black nodded then focused on the food while she digested the new data she'd been given. Not long afterwards, the dinner items were replaced with various delectable dessert selections. I practically pounced on a crème filled pastry when a recent nightmare bubbled to the surface of my thoughts.

"I have nothing to say to you Mr. Pastry and I trust you don't either," I scolded the treat softly before I bit into it.

Once the desserts were cleared from the tables, an uncomfortable silence fell over the Great Hall. Fifteen minutes passed then Prof. McGonagall shook the Headmaster's shoulder.

"Headmaster, the announcements," she reminded the aged man.

Dumbledore snapped out of his reverie just long enough to wave a hand in our direction the comment dismissively, "The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason, Filch has a list of prohibited items posted on his office door and the eastern corridor on the third floor near the Charms classroom is off limits; goodnight."

With those words, the Headmaster stood from the table then stalked out a side door on the far side of the room. It was obvious to anyone that he was still preoccupied. His second-in-command gave his retreating back a concerned glance then she rose to address the student body.

"Everyone is dismissed; Prefects will take the first years to their House Common Rooms. Mr. Potter, Mr. Longbottom, Miss Tonks, Miss Granger-Black, Miss Greengrass, Miss Bones and Miss Davis please remain behind please. You will be shown to Common Rooms later," McGonagall commanded then motioned for the mentioned first years to join her, Cassiopeia and Madam Bones. Virgo followed behind us and huffed in annoyance when Draco Malfoy stormed over along with his Head of House.

"Severus, Mr. Malfoy, you were not asked to join us," the Transfiguration teacher stated before she arched a questioning eyebrow.

"I'm the Heir Designate for the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black so I have a right to be here," the blonde ponce – Draco – spat in reply.

"Indeed, young Draco speaks the truth; I was there when his mother named him such," Snape added smugly.

"Wrong on all counts I am afraid," the oldest Black shot back cheekily.

"While I have no doubt that Narcissa named the boy such, it was a bit premature, not to mention illegal, on her part. It is quite clear that she is just as ignorant of the Black Family Charter as her mother and Aunt Walburga. Just as Stewardship of the Family goes to the oldest Black by blood when the current Head is unable to perform their duties for any reason, the Heir Designate can only be the oldest male scion closest to the current Head (should the Head not have any viable offspring) with the strongest ties of blood to the family.

"In this case, our darling Harry has precedence. His grandfather was Cygnus Black, his great-grandmother was Dorea Potter nee Black, and there direct links to two other branches of the Black Family within the fifteen generations prior to Charlus Potter's birth. Harry was also born a full month before Draco. Then, of course, there is the fact that after his mother cursed him with the inability to sire children that led Sirius to be named Harry's Godfather. Lord Black then named the child his sole Heir.

"Now before you run off to warn Lucius so he can try to find a way to strip Harry of his position, you should know that there is nothing he can do. Shortly before his unlawful incarceration in Azkaban, Sirius filed the necessary paperwork at the Ministry to prove that Narcissa Malfoy nee Black and Bellatrix Lestrange nee Black had been cast out of the family while Andromeda Tonks nee Black and her daughter, Nymphadora, were re-instated. Somehow the clerk had misfiled the documents and they were lost for the better part of the last decade. That error was corrected as of 10:30 this morning.

"When those documents were properly notarized and entered into the official record, Gringott's was able to seize all illegally obtained monies the Malfoy's plundered from the Black Family Trust plus interest. They also put up wards to prevent anyone but the Head of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black or their designates from entering Malfoy Manor – a property owned by our family. As soon as he can find the time, Sirius will have a full inventory done of the Manor and all personal affects will be returned to their rightful owners. Run along now, we have some business to discuss," she explained then turned her attention back to us.

"Being that it is Sunday, classes will not start for another two days to give the first years time to learn the castle. Tomorrow, Ms. Black and our Head Girl, Miss Tonks, will be escorting all of you to Diagon Alley. It is my understanding that you will need to purchase materials for your special courses and that some of you might want to look at the alternate uniform selections at Madam Malkin's. We shall escort the lot of you back to your Common Rooms and I would advise going straight to bed because you have a busy day ahead of you.

"For the remainder of this week, you all will be staying in your Houses in order to get to know your fellow housemates. After this week, you will only stay there on Sundays and Mondays; the rest of the time you will living in private quarters set up much like the other Houses. Ms. Black will be stay with Miss Greengrass and her half-sister, Miss Davis, whenever they have to sleep in Slytherin for security reasons. Friends may visit your quarters but you will deport yourselves as proper ladies and gentleman. In other words, I had better not find out about any inappropriate shenanigans," Prof. McGonagall told us after Snape and Malfoy left. She then escorted Madam Bones and Cassiopeia Black out of the school while the pink haired Head Girl acted as our tour guide.

"So, what are we going to tonight, Brain," Tonks asked Harry with a smile.

"The same thing we do every night, Pinky. TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD," he responded and the duo fell into a laughing fit. The rest of us shared a blank look and shrugged.

"It's a muggle cartoon thing," Harry explained once he regained control of himself then added, "Tonks here is my cousin, Auntie Andi's daughter, and we mostly grew up together."

"How can you mostly grow up together," Miss Davis, Tracy, asked incredulously.

"Dumbledore tried to place me with my mum's magic hating muggle sister after my folks died. From what I gathered from my Ministry file, he claimed that my mother's sacrifice triggered some weird blood magic that allowed me to survive Voldemort's killing curse. Because of that protection, I needed to stay with my mum's only sister. It was complete bollox but the old goat did erect Blood Wards around my Aunt Petunia's house in an attempt to _keep me safe_. The Headmaster hadn't counted on Auntie Andi being at the Ministry when he called an emergency session of the Wizengamut. The minute she heard about his plan, she called Aunt Cassi. Not even a minute after I was left on the doorstep of Petunia's house, Aunt Cassi laid down an icon to fool the Blood Wards then whisked me away. Six months out of the year I lived with her and Auntie V in France. The other six months I lived with the Tonks' with frequent trips to visit various cousins. Tonks and I really loved the trips to Chicago to stay with our cousins Harry Dresden and Thomas Raith," he replied while the pink haired witch nodded in agreement.

"Will I get to meet any of these other cousins, I've never been to the States," Hermione chimed in and it was easy to hear the longing in her voice.

"Unfortunately, Dresden is having some problems with elements of the current magical government in American and Thomas is embroiled in Raith family politics at the moment but maybe something can be arranged. Thomas was thinking about coming across the pond for a vacation but is waiting until he finds out if he will be forced to register as a Dark Creature with our Ministry because he's an emotional vampire that feeds off lust," Virgo told the eager girl.

Conversation tapered off as members of our group were dropped at their various Houses. As I climbed into bed that night, my mind whirled with thoughts of everything that had happened so far and I wondered just what the new day would bring.

**AN: So here's chapter two. This is not going to be a crossover, I just thought it would be funny of Harry Dresden was Potter's cousin. The next chapter will be up when I have time but I'm going to update a couple of my other stories first.**


	3. Chapter 3

**An open letter to : PLEASE READ**

I recently received an alert from the Administrators of this site that my story, The Care and Feeding of Zombies, had been deleted from the site for violating the its rules and story guidelines. At first I was a bit upset but then I skimmed through the guidelines and realized that they were correct in their action because I happened to use the word "Bitches" within the body of the summary. All I needed to do was replace that one word then upload the story again but I put that on the back burner as I was working on updating a couple of my fics. The updates weren't going as well as I would've liked so a couple of days later I started looking for new chapters to some stories I was following. Imagine my shock when I found Author's Notes explaining that as of 6/4/2012 the administrators of were going to start taking down all stories that contained lemons and graphic violence.

Once I got over my shock, I understood that all but maybe two of my stories were going to be on the chopping block so I went back and fully re-read all the rules and guidelines again. What I learned was that the people in charge of this site basically created a major Grey Area for authors. You see, the rules and limited submission guidelines haven't been updated since _**2008**_ (and make no prohibitions against either lemons or violence) but do have a nice warning in red just before the definition of Story Ratings about the site not allowing explicit content within the stories published on .

Now here is the issue: What constitutes explicit content? We don't live inside of a 1950's sitcom where mom and dad share a room but separate bed and sleep in body covering pajamas. We live in the real world of the 21st Century. Every year, Hollywood pushes the boundaries between R and NC-17 ratings and what is acceptable within the lower rating; just as the Television Industry pushes the limits if their FCC Regulations for content. This brings us back to that red warning and the soon to be deleted stories because I don't think the administrators have thought their decision through logically.

How many authors are going to get pissed off and stop posting to this site? How many thousands of good stories are going to be lost? Or, better yet, how many fandoms are going to be completely wiped out? Think about that for a second – Supernatural fanfics… gone; True Blood and Sookie Stackhouse/SVM fics… bye-bye; Lost Girl… poof; Rachel Morgan/The Hollows Series… gone without a trace and those are just the tip of the iceberg. Then there are the fics based on Harry Potter, Twilight, The Vampire Diaries, The Secret Circle and The Hunger Games that are going to take major hits. In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say that they – and most fandoms – will be decimated to the point of it pointless to read whatever survives the purge (but I hope I'm wrong).

To me, it would be easier for those in charge to update the rules and guidelines then get rid of the red warning entirely or offer a separate site where such stories might be published instead of the idiotic task they've decided to undertake. Therefore, I have decided to not update any of my stories until such time as I can find a new home for them. If you know of such a place let me know and I get right on the transfer. In the meantime, I might take up the challenge of re-writing and re-imagining Sun and Moon for this site using only implied lemons and non-graphic violence.

Thank you,

J. (Kolchaksghost)


	4. Chapter 4

**New Home**

I find it ironic that right after I posted my Open Letter that I was able to find a new home. I've decided to join OrangeSmurfette and others over at The Writer's Coffee Shop; same penname but more freedom of expression. I'll start transferring my stories there very soon but don't know how long it's going to take to get everything moved. Old, completed stories and one-shots are going to be the first to go but the problem is that I plan to do some minor editing as I go which is why it might take a while to update any of my current stuff.

To find me, just go to .com then click on their library link. Hope to see all of my faithful readers over there.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I finally started uploading stories on my stories onto my The Writer's Coffee Shop account as well as on another site please check out my profile for information.**


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